Diary: March 24

Continued 3/3

8th

Lamb that contracted wet mouth survived the night and this morning is suckling her mother ewe; Charlie entered the poly tunnel and also found triplets, these are the third triplets to be born in three days. This is bothering Charlie as lambs only have two teats to feed from, thus rises a higher probability of cades. Powdered milk is seventy pounds a bag, each cade lamb will consume this amount of powered milk. The cade lamb in the farmhouse is consuming three to four bottles a day, stronger, she can to be returned to the flock today.

When taken into account other costs such as ewe nuts, lick buckets, medicine and vets bills, fly strike spray etc, Charlie's hobby is not profitable. I have a noisy head this morning, although weeks of prolonged toothache now finally seems to have dissipated; I am ajar on how the dentist didn't prescribe antibiotics, the periodontitis infection in my mouth was rancid and very, very miserable. We are halfway through lambing, already, extreme tiredness is starting to show. Cade lamb is sneezing, so they'll be no playtime on the paddock.

This morning I attempted to build a lamb creep, a shelter on the paddock for the young lambs, but I am not able to bang in fence posts as I used to do; so I've left the job as a marker for Charlie to finish. So far we've managed to thwart mortality among the lambs, the birth rate is now almost two lambs to one ewe; so I guess we're successful at lambing this year. As haylage nibbles for the lambs become more frequent, they are readying to be weaned off milk and onto lamb pellets, as their bad mother ewes will be going to cast in a few weeks.

7th

Unhappy with waking up to Charlie denying snoring in my ear; so tired, yet he moans to me, he's tired constantly. This morning I've returned to Hawick, as there is a plumber coming to fix the blocked drains. I am suspecting these drains to be blocked with soiled nappies from the degenerate adult baby resident in the flat below. Filth water rises from the plug hole and soils plates, cups and cutlery etc, that sometimes makes me sick. Adult babies flat is hum dinging, does she not get bored living as a wee baby week after week, for years; what a cretin.

Listening to Beethoven's 7th today, along with Wagner they are my favourite composers. I'm contemplating building a guillotine once I have settled into my new accomodation near Ancrum; in earnest that during one fine day, God will permit me to lawfully use it to rid this world of the evil cretins that flayed me of an existence; there is no execution for those who have not defaced me, whatever creed or origin they may hail from. Ethnic cleansing is a mortal sin, god created people in his image, ethnocide is wagered by satan depising ethnicity.

One of the IPcams in the polytunnel is moving on its own, there are only three users, one has no permission to move the IPcam, the other two user are me and Charlie, last night we both watched the Ipcam move on its own. These are cheap IPcams we purchased in 2022 to prove IPcams were useful, since they proved that, we shall be upgrading the camera system soon anyhow. Charlie purchased grasskeep (one field) today, we are having a reduction this year, so many sheep is too much for Charlie so it's time to scale down the flock.

6th

This morning I released the cade lamb onto the paddock, initially she looked estranged then when she found her footing began leaping; I believe this is what we call playtime. The weather is pleasant and mild, but if rain comes I'll bring her inside, she has to return to the farmhouse for bottle feeding anyhow. She hasn't been introduced to cades Loli and Donna yet. Whilst walking about the paddock, I took some pictures of with my bridge camera.

After such an interesting life, with meaningful correspondence fleeced as if I pre-existed, it's hard to release from longevity of despondent bordem with mundane hobbies. Yet I have risen from being outcasted as a decimated and ostracised nothing. As my grip of the world fades, shadows from the past fall and dissipate as I ascend; badly shaken but not stirred.

Sam the sheep dog, I let him out of his kennel to stretch his legs, trusted he enters the polytunnel, invades a mother ewe lambing triples, and begins licking her lambs; how insane is this?

I feel relieved not to long for my people, as a great partisan betrayal, condemning me to a zombified sub-existance, revulsed into human waste, they made every effort to mean absolutely nothing to me.

5th

Wee cade lamb has lost her bleet, its difficult for herd animals to be on their own but she would have died without intervention, were expecting more cades to join her through fate.

I don't like lambs inside the farmhouse, livestock should have as little intervention as possible. Sometimes I wonder if kindness is killing them, tough love is hardy and fortifying. Teeswater sheep are a rare and failing breed, this is not a commercial enterprise; no profit is made from them being here at the farmhouse, Charlie with his breeding programme is saving them by reinvigorating their genetics.

4th

Charlie bottle-fed the lambs today, giving me a break, they'll be next fed midday. The full cade lamb is drinking half a bottle per sitting, recognises our approach, walks and arrives to the bottle standing. Over two days, auditory hallucinations have quelled. But I don't notice the auditory hallucinations are not there until they return, so maybe I am dissociating from never ending negative commentary. Throughout the decade, I've learned much about mental health to know the sickness is inflicted by religious contempt for spirituality present in humanity.

Stressed I took a walk down the glen to Borthwick water. Sam the sheep dog was good company and behaved himself; I cooked Charlie omelette and chips for his dinner before he went to play carpet bowls. The cade has been bought inside underneath our heat lamp; she's been bunted so much by the other ewes, her ear is very badly swollen and she is shaking all the time with cold. She is the loudest lamb I've known, far louder than Loli or Donna, I've named her Lucy, after my old friend, shes has a strong spirit, I know she'll light her way through this time.

3rd

Another two lambs born this morning, Charlie is happy, but I am able to see that twins are three times the lambing trouble. Sam the sheepdog is going nuts barking his wee head off as the sheep bar and jeer not unlike politicians, in anticipation of a serving of chaff; we're running out of chaff, in several days they'll be fed ewe nuts.

To free space in a now crowded polytunnel, Charlie has moved ewes and their lambs to an open shed near to our stud y room; I'll probably have no peace whilst working on this here website until they are out grazing upon fresh salad in the farmhouse paddock. At least the light has returned, the grass will be growing, along with the horrid dock leaf weeds.

We have removed the white lamb from its racist black mother. The wee lamb is sick with watery mouth, having not received enough colostrum because her mother bunted her away; she managed to sneak past the black lamb to suckle, but evidently this was not enough. We've placed her with two other friendly mother ewes, Charlie administered a shot of antibiotic, she's drank a quarter of a bottle of powered milk this morning, considering this substantial intervention she'll pull through as another full cade, to keep cades Lolli and Donna company.

We've replaced a tow-bar with another tow-bar, enabling the 4x4 to tow a plant trailer; Charlie spent over an hour deliberating the wiring. This problem has to be fixed as the electrics on the 4x4 are short-circuiting other lights; leaking window seals are a contributing factor.

Whilst we were away fetching logs, coal, haylage and straw, this mother ewe had twin lambs successfully on her own. This afternoon Charlie placed a new bale of haylage in the flocks ring feeder,they also a new harbo rumi block. The new cade lamb has responded well to her injection, she appears less vacant and her appetite has increased, although she is still shaking.

Woodburn Farm.

I enjoy walking to the top of the farmhouse paddock, but returning I become aware of just how noisy the farmhouse is during this time. Something was trespassing upon the farmhouse tonight; lurking around the lambs, have to keep vigilant, and catch whoever, whatever it is snooping around.

2nd

The farmhouse and paddock is lively as spring equinox approaches, from a sleepy and murky winter. To ensue panic buying the scemeing cretins forecast the Scottish Borders to be bombed with snow blizzards, yet other than northern hillside permafrost, we witnessed a mere two weekends of mild snow fall. A tup lamb enjoying a vista view of Borthwick Valley:

We were out and about today, first trip was to Jedburgh, Charlie wanted to book me into a dentist but on arrival the dentist was closed. To intitate another crucifying month of Cuthaig enabling a consort purchased berrys from a grocery; an insult exposed her guilt, subdued with cognitive dissonance she couldn't locate the source of discontent, stood next to her.

Charlie treated me to a cooked lunch at the Carters Rest bar; last time we dined at this establishment was a year ago. Animosity burned as the bar quickly emptied from being full, a male and female couple, glared uncomfortable with disdain whilst reds scuttled outside. First bar we've visited in months, seem to be ostracised into pre-existent stasis wherever I go.

Despite being this marginalised for years, it still doesn't feel right. Anyhow, the bar food was OK, we both enjoyed Steak and ale pie and chips, found addition of carrots and mange tout a little odd. Charlie ordered a beer, I enjoyed Guinness, we skipped starters and dessert, bill came to £36. Charlie was watching the polytunnel IP Cam, two lambs had just been born.

Returning to Hawick via Denholm we loaded the 4x4 with several bags of chaff; Charlie took me to a coo that had given birth to a "bulldog" calf. Whilst Charlie parked the 4x4 for loading, with my bridge camera I photographed a few calfs.

Bulldog Calf, Charlie believes she'll be OK, just birthed early.

This evening, as I write this paragraph I am listening to talks by Jonathan Bowden, a real thinker of his time, his speeches were delivered with emboldening stamina; we have similarities in our political understanding, our upbringings, mental health problems are also similar. Penned racist mother ewe hates her white lamb, this lamb will be cade.

Lambs in the polytunnel appear to be OK, we are additionally feeding three lambs each evening; birth rate of the flock is at 1.6 lambs per mother ewe; since the beginning of lambing we've not had one mortality. Twins are not growing equally, mother ewes slow to lactate; other than a difficult mother ewe lambing has gone well, Charlie is hoping for 48 lambs.

The pens are initially small to restrict movement of the mother ewes to allow the newborn lambs to suckle essential colostrum; after no problems for two / three days they are moved outside into a large pen with other mother ewes and their lambs. Every penned mother ewe has access to water, chaff and haylage; they are also given fresh straw bedding daily.

1st

At the farmhouse today, lambs are being born, I have an open peat fire stoked whilst I write this paragraph. Charlie returned to the farmhouse in his lunch break, he dropped off a tub of colostrum and two lick blocks for the ewes; he's concerned that the mother ewes in the polytunnel appear not to have any milk this year. I cooked him battered fish finger sandwiches (white sliced bread), complimented with sliced gherkin and mayonnaise; then returned to my computer.

During the morning, a black mother ewe decided to lamb twice; out first was a black lamb, and the mother ewe adored it. Ten minutes later a white lamb fell out of her, she ignored the lamb, showed no interest as the wee thing cried and cried out for her. Considering the white lamb would die with a loving lick as well as colostrum from mother ewe; I removed her black lamb away from sight for about three minutes.

The mother ewe roared in pain, then returned to the white lamb and began to lick. Both white and black lamb are now penned together, but racist mother ewe paying no attention to her white lamb. Charlie has marked the black lamb for cast, as bad mother ewes aren't tolerated she'll be gone on a Thursday, once the lambs of weaned. Charlie said he met a shepherd who used to cut the mother ewes ear off when they abandoned their lambs; unusually cruel, that'll not be happening here at Woodburn.