Diary: February 24

We're expecting lambs to enter our world this month at Charlie's farm, watching our year old ewe lambs; last year lambing season doesn't seem that far away. I am also expecting a move away from homeless accommodation in Hawick to being resettled around the Scottish Borders area of Ancrum village.

29th

A bright sunny morning, spring is almost here. We took a walk through a woodland, overlooking Bow hill house. There were two people there with a dog, we didn't think anything of it, until five minutes after leaving, a blue light ambulance shot up the road rushing in the direction where we had come from.

If it wasn't anxiety forcing me to care, I would have presumed they had taken away my ability to care from ostracising belief in care; when homeless I'd gaze bewildered into restaurants, and try and believe humane life was real and if so validated, that it was not from false memory to presume people had a sense of worth for each other.

28th

Busy editing exposure pages, and reinstalling website forum; Debian unstable is cooking the processor on this old iMac, back peddling to Debian testing.

27th

We took four ewe lambs to Longtown this morning; we bought all the lambs and one mother ewe down from the paddock then penned them unto the trailer ramp.

Charlie could not tell the difference between two black ewe lambs, a cade lamb and one lamb of triplets, I recognised the cade lamb instantly and pulled her out from the pen.

The morning was wet,cold and windy, we drank cups of coffee before making the journey to Longtown via Langholm.

After dropping off the lambs, we enjoyed a full breakfast before visiting the pens, there were few sheep here today; one or two had been bought here sick.

Returning to the farmhouse we took the top off the trainer and washed out the inside then loaded two containers to sell at auction.

Charlie drove to Denholm to pick up a bail of haylage for the mother ewes, it's been almost four days since they last lambed.

25th

Today Charlie took me south for a drive in Craik Forest.

On the way we stopped at a hidden waterfall.

There were no people at the Craik, we enjoyed the quiet.

Being in noisy and around busy environments makes my mind sick with dissociation.

Returning to the farmhouse we enjoyed Chicken soup I cooked this morning; Charlie is dismayed that we've had no new lambs from the flock for almost three days.

24th

Today I uninstalled Firefox-ESR web browser, and henceforth I am now using GWeb, Gnome's browser that older Linux users know as Epiphany. Why did I do this? Because the Mozilla Foundation are now committed Marxists; I no longer trust application code after Gecko. If you are using Debian distribution of Linux you can install GWeb via terminal with command:

sudo apt-get install epiphany-browser

and this command to completely remove Firefox-ESR:

sudo apt-get remove --purge firefox

To install GWeb you don't have to install Ubuntu's Snap; just use the browsers old name epiphany and GWeb will be installed. This is what I like about Linux, you can remove any installed package, unlike Android, Google's operating system, another Commie company who are trying to eliminate white people from existence; don't bother installing Chrome.

Peering from the bedroom window I watched the lambs play, additionally noticing Charlie turning his attentions to the farmhouse's kitchen garden. He is harvesting Potato, Swedes and Parsnips; the later two are very small as we planted late in the season; potatoes grew well, considering they sprang from left over potatoes, purchased from Hawick's supermarkets.

Lambs are outside playing! If readers of this website are wondering why I don't write about my people and family; because they abandoned me as though I had died, I know nothing of them other than what became of them as a satanic deprivation cult, I have no inkling to write about this; other than in context of written exposure pages displayed upon this website.

Today Charlie drove into Hawick to the recyling center to scrap a pair of green Chesterfield chairs; these chairs, similiar to those in the Commie "Matrix Film" have been a source of contention as I have known him, so I am glad theys are gone as the room sure feels better without them. Returning from Hawick several of Jocks sheep had escaped near Roberton.

Apple keyboard I purchased from Ebay on the 19th arrived after being "delayed". The space bar doesn't work as good as it should, and the keyboards Bluetooth ID is still set to the previous owners, which is really annoying. I've changed the keyboards ID with my iPad, so hopefully bluetooth cache will clear and the defunct ID will change soon!

23rd

Not doing much today other than tidying up the code and grammar on this here website; the open fire is stoked with logs, I write with code and write driven burning, hellfire aspirations. We've had another two lambs this afternoon, mother ewe struggle with labour pains, gave birth, two lambs birthed between six minutes. She's penned and have given her fresh water and haylage, if she is still with the preoccupation of eating the lambs with getting a better chance of suckling essential colostrum.

The other two twins are having trouble getting enough milk, so last night we supplemented their mothers milk with bottled milk. Both lambs were very hungry, the first devouring three quarters of a bottle, the second finished what remained; Charlie believes mother ewe is not a good mother as she is a ewe lamb (just over one year old) and these are her first lambs. I am also supplementing the grass on the paddock with a bin of haylage daily, the grass is still very short, a hard forage for them.

22nd

This is the first day prolific toothache has subsided, for months. The weather is sunny overcast, I am planning on taking some wildlife pictures from the garden.

Ewe lambs are easy to photograph.

Whilst the Jackdaws are photogenic, they scare away the smaller birds, lucky to get this a picture of the wee sparrow.

21st

When I state wet and windy, that is how most days are here. The fine rain drops, blow horizontal, South west to North East appearing from the Craik travelling through to Roberton. Freezing mist also forms over the fast running Borthwick river; the coldest place situated within the valley is, ironically, the graveyard. Borthwick water sees some tourism through the summer, families camp beside by the water between April and June, usually before blood sucking midges arrive. Many of these people swim in the Borthwick, but not me, I know septic tanks discharge into the Borthwick, down the glen, along almost every burn in the Valley. Beyond the valley Alemoor, toward Ettrick, becomes litter strewn from tourism, but also I suspect neds from local towns. Also there is a holiday park with amenities, it's up the road from a naff pub, serves beer that'll make ye wretch, doubt they clean their tap lines often.

Charlie pushed me into telephoning for an emergency dentist appointment; I received two callbacks before an appointment was booked for 3:45pm. The dentist diagnosed me with severe periodontitis, then spent twenty minutes scraping my teeth with an electric drill; she also stated the need for a filling. It's been three hours since my treatment, and I'm beginning to feel better; although it's going to take a while for this raging infection to leave my face alone, no antibiotics. Tonight I had some time out from cooking, opening and heating two tins of canned soup. Charlie enjoyed Cross and Blackwell Stilton and Broccoli, whilst I spooned Baxter's Cream of Chicken; I dislike Stilton and Broccoli; remember doing a lengthy hike to a remote bothy then opening a tin, truly disappointed with build up of anticipation! Anyhow, we both enjoyed the soup, simple things can be better than complexity.

20th

Wet and windy day in Borthwick valley, Charlie has gone to the poly tunnel to feed the mother ewes haylage as one mother ewe is attempting to climb their pens! Yesterday I received by post a iMac 2011 desktop computer, paid just £50, that I had purchased on eBay just under a week ago. It's crazy Apple no longer supports these computers [they brag about not using toxic materials, yet quit OS support of legacy machines after a mere five years], as they work great with Debian Linux; the only problem I encountered was the graphics card (brightness control not working) which was fixed by an OS upgrade to Debian 13. After using a micro tower Dell 3020 for over a year, this iMac fan wrr seems baseline noisy as the tinnitus I suffer.

There were some other minor issues, after upgrade to Debian 13 GDM failed to start Gnome desktop after reboot, this was fixed by reinstalling GDM3 via command line. I also encountered website access problems because Yosemite OS safari browser blocked the Debian website as unsafe; despite time and date being correct on this iMac. The workaround was to visit Debian 11 CDROM folder access to download non-free firmware [3.9GB DVD ISO] install; I also did not have an Apple Keyboard, but Alt key accessed boot menu during the intimal white start up screen [iMacs don't have BIOS]. Burning the ISO image onto a [M$-DS ] formatted pen drive [using disk-utilities] was accomplished by DD command.

Over the years I've shunned "all in one" computers, because if the monitor packs in, you lose the computer when taking the machine for repair. However, the ergonomics of the iMac are pleasing, the machine is solid, and metallic finish smooth. Apple have made effort to remove wires and also conceal the power lead cable behind the screen. A keyboard can also slide into the stand, opening access to a desk when not in use; I dislike the style of Apple OS, I find the graphical Windows system rudimentary in design, having little if any nostalgia to me, I'm no a legacy user; so wouldn't impress design authenticity from Apple's development. Installing Windows from Boot Camp as replacement for Apple (UNIX BS) OS is cop out naff.

Charlie loaded the trailer with straw for the sheep; its important to keep the ground clean in the polytunnel to avoid lambs getting wet mouth.

Loli, last years cade ewe lamb; a long way from me desperately keeping her alive with every half hour bottle feeding, when she was almost dead with wet mouth.

A picture of todays moon, at 1200mm magnification through the lens of my Lumix FZ82 bridge camera .

Upset over the farmhouse open fire being smothered with wet wood; whist I slept with ragging toothache, rancid infection has spread into my face.

19th

Mother ewe gave birth to twin lambs just after midnight, one was trapped in the bag, but Charlie came to the rescue. Mother ewe is wild about licking them, whilst making strange noises; I presume in satisfaction.

I've had to stay awake another hour, it's 1:30am; I'll wake up Charlie to go make sure both lambs have suckled, then I'll get some sleep. It was a long day yesterday, although I anticipate today to be longer. We awoke late, at 10am, 4 to 5am is the normal waking time for the farming community in the Borthwick valley and house lights go out early on in the evening.

Kept away from Hawick town centre for fear of inheriting phobias incurred when displaced homeless out and about Galashiels; this dystopian decline; against that which we as a people have been. Insatiable greed reaping everything we inherently are; as if we should never matter at all.

Midday I returned to Hawick as I was due a B12 injection a week ago; anaemia has climbed all over me, I am sheet white. Feel an alarming sense of apprehension returning here; walking by my neighbour's door, I felt deepening darkness. I feel sad because she is going to hell because of an immoral imposition of cognitive dissonance impressed upon sense of dignity. Postman approached, his deceit expressed as social indecisiveness, broken humanity, smashed by a wrongful and unnecessary altruism demand for social inclusion, via social exclusion.

Its not just our lives being taken away, there is no tollerance knowing that we are living.

My friend online states this is because the Cultural Marxist left is creating a stigmatising, multicultural class system, where within post-structualism, psyche defaced, zombified whites males are placed at the bottom, whilst alienated white women at not much futher up. But I know this to be more than that and somehow, in someway you also know, don't you. This dystopia was not created by racism, but inflicted upon us from centuries of appalling hatred, recited against our ethnicity, revering our demise, from the "you know who's".