Diary: September, 22

Continued 3/4.

16th

Pitched my tent in Dunorian Park, Tunbridge Wells.

I slept out in this park during the 90s, so I took a walk around, and visited a wee few places here that I didn’t in the 90s.

It’s becoming increasingly harder to hide the pain around my eyes.

Walking back into Tunbridge Wells I purchased some aluminium tent pegs and moisturiser. A wee further I entered into a pub named “The Allotment” and have been drinking Guinness since; on request I also used the bar to charge my mobile phone!

The pub was OK until the barmaid left and everybody started talking about UFOs!

A blonde barmaid entered the pub, and half an hour later the precious barmaid returned. The pub was filled with middle-aged men who drawled over the young blonde barmaid, and she craved the attention. The husband of the other barmaid threw a tantrum over my bag being left opposite the bar. My mental health is taking a nose dive again, going to have to leave town, go to the countryside. Eventually, I pulled my mind together and walked two miles out of town to a wee village named Rustall. Mind tired I pitched my tent by the side of a cricket pitch and lay down my head upon a hard bag in an attempt to attain a watchful night’s sleep, but I was out like a light. My friend Stuart has been supportive via text messages but usually concerned.

15th

Was supposed to wake up at 5 am but was roused at 8 am, my friend Stuart said I was gone to the world so chose to wake me and go later. Alec was quiet and did not try and manipulate my emotions to stay, I packed away my things and climbed into my friend’s 4×4 car. Stuart is driving to Essex to pick up his mother but chose to drive anticlockwise so he could drop me off in Kent. On the way to Oxford from Woodstock, I noticed a Natura cult member walking towards a pub named the “royal rising sun”. I view these flesh-crawling interlopers as predators because they skin me hapless The M25 was manic and the A21 into Orpington confusing. I visited a camping shop to get some additions to my camping equipment; a roll mat, extra water bottle and new, warmer fleece. Letting go of two old fleeces saved addtional luggage space for the new roll mat, and I needed addition water for the mountains. The hiking shop was OK and many items were reduced to half price. Cashier gave us wrong directions to the train station, instead directing us to a station named St Mary Cray. I knocked the screen at the ticket office but nobody came. Deffering to google maps we realised Orpington railway station was two miles away. Twenty minutes later I parted company from my friend, entered Orpington station and purchased a ticket to Tonbridge. I walked straight out of Tonbridge station, purchased a frock and loaded my rucksack with provisions, I have no plans to walk either the South or North downs, as I did this (famished) eight years ago.

I walked through the grounds of Tonbridge castle remembering I last visited during a festival. I don’t feel comfortable with the ground here, the tectonic energy is very shallow compared to the Scottish highlands. My network internet comnection appears to have been cut even though I am picking up 4G on my phone signal; so now using pub WiFi.

The pub is old, maybe the fifteenth century and used to be a courthouse with cells, criminals were hung from the wooden post outside; which still sports a hangman’s noose. The pub is civil and friendly but I am feeling despondent and tired due to B12 deficiency, my thoughts are scattered I am struggling to connect with the public socially. There is a wake in the pub today, its good to see people celebrating life, together and dancing. I went out into the beer garden and noticed through a window giving me a filthy look; took a picture of me walking past a gambling machine. I wish those who despise my existence would be gone; the intrusive watcher is nothing more than a decimating suicidal invoking tendency.

The sky is overcast with heavy rain clouds and I get the feeling I am in my tent for the night, but at least I am familiar with the region, so I won’t be walking endless miles searching for a safe place to pitch my tent. My bag is packed with some edible provisions, but I will undoubtedly miss the friendship I found on the gipsy/travellers site; in retrospect being erased from this world. A guy came over from the wake, said hi and said “people don’t sit on their own where we come from” before asking me where I was going. He asked if nobody had talked to me tonight, I replied “no, because you just did”.

People can feel the deepness of the void, but sincerity now only flickers my light that grew brighter than darkness invoked by suppression that engulfed my once kindling projection. This is what is inflicted when victims. of delusion sacrifice their reality to resurrect self-centre dreams, that care for nothing but to attain their belligerent aspirations. It is the observation of insanity to watch victims singing out memes and metaphors of their demise, the truth of their predicament has become so dire, beyond rationalised comprehension. Stopped to get a small pizza because I have another four then two miles to walk, passing by a Chinese restaurant made me feel I’ll, for too many reasons I care to write about.

14th

I woke inside Perry’s trailer, his dogs had not disturbed me all night; I guess they’d gained familiarity with me so were undaunted by my presence. I walked them both early in the morning, the biggest dog was sluggish toward the end of the short walk. Alec entered, thankfully minus his oversized black winkle pickers. the seated himself on the sofa and scooped up the drooling dog saliva and placed it on his tongue with his left index finger. Shortly after I handed him a bottle of South African “fairtrade” white wine that had been purchased for me the night before. He seriously needed some mouthwash I thought. I asked him to watch over the dogs whilst I went into town to do some shopping, I returned to an empty trailer with four, two-litre bottles of cider for him; couldn’t keep it together to look after the dogs for a mere two hours regardless of promising to help look after them.

I’d also purchased a bottle of single malt whisky and on the news of a friend becoming a granddad shared the first drink of the bottle with him. Later he gave me a game of chess and won the game in just four moves. In the next two games I crept up on him but still did not get checkmate despite taking his Queen. In the evening Alec came and began manipulating my emotions in an attempt to get me to stay; he stated was going to psychologically convince me not to leave and thus vocally repeated “you are not going anywhere” about thirty times. When he left my friends trailer I reclusively wept, he’d played on everything sweet I found within his charecter, but his face was hard, his eyes angry; his ego was dented and only wanted to gain control of the deterating situation.

13th

Woke up at 5 am in a friend’s trailer, dogs have been quiet all night. The main road adjacent to the site is disturbingly busy and I suspect out-of-sight things beyond my cognition are happening but there is no anxiety present from me on site, guess I feel safe here, partly because when I lived on the travellers’ site in the 90s I was safe from ritualised abuses. Today I received a lift to a doctors surgery to book myself in for a Vitamin B12 injection. I have been experiencing symptoms of pernicious anemia for about three days. I first explained the situation to a receptionist who differed me to the practice manager. The manager, named Janette, refused to temporary register me as a pateint stating it was the surgeries policy not to give B12 injections to potential patients approaching the surgery with the said circumstance. She advised me to go to Banbury A&E if my symptoms worsened; failing to mention this dwindling health has potential to permenantly damage my bodies central nervous system. It appears this discriminste policy desires some people not to live longer, even more so the vulnerable who have been perpetually displaced subordinate.

Alec eventually returned from Dawn’s flat, dressed in oversize winkle picker loathers and a black M&S (Catholic trinity church is located next to M&S in Chipping Norton) trilby hat; how the spite-driven Natura cult ridicules and despises the connection I make with people. After Alec denounced me as “ugly” (allied forces ugly carnivals). I noticed his trainers were missing and said they, whoever they were took his footwear away from him. Reminds me of the creepy preacher guy from the poltergeist film. I am expecting the traveller’s site to be manipulated also so my bag remains packed, anxiety triggered (which is what they do) and almost ready to go. Glad I didn’t get intimate with him, he’s not clued up at all. It’s interesting how B12 regulates the central nervous system and how psychological warfare is resurrecting latent traumas programmed by horror movies to both shake and snatch our nutured ancestral spirit away from us. Contact with my Oban friend named Skye has completely ceased; any friendships I accumulate end by getting erased from my phone contact list as they become defunct from corrosive influences.

12th

Woke up on a couch with Alec, been kinda cramped sharing a sofa and he snores loudly; here, this morning it’s cheap Aldi cider and spicy cheese wrap for breakfast. We visited a few neighbours before leaving the traveller’s site to catch a bus into town; were a bit dismayed to see Alec sitting on the pavement so many times, his legs are so thin.

An elderly man from the traveller’s site was struggling on a zimmer frame along the side of a busy road to get to the bus stop, cars are travelling at speed, and there is no path from the site to the bus stop. He pointed to rubbish strewn across the wall adjacent to the bus stop and said it gave the council an excuse. not to erect a shelter contrary to the council not even providing a safe path for access; I was left wondering just how many dangerous roads he’d walked down during his life.

Alec was not worried about the bus driver refusing to let him onto the bus with a bottle of Budweiser in his hand and purchased return tickets. We were in the town just five minutes before Dawn appeared, she apologised about the goings on a few days ago which resulted in me being on the dark streets late at night. On my own, I searched around charity shops for a new dress but only found a limited choice in evening wear. We purchased some shopping at Aldi, then wheeled a shopping trolley back to her flat, which seemed as if she was rerunning the events of another day.

Before arriving back at her flat we met up. with a traveller who asked me if I could look after his dogs for a few days; I agreed because so many people have helped me along this forsaken road, wanted to give some help and support back. Arriving at Dawn’s flat I fell asleep on her sofa and woke half an hour later to Alec hovering on her floor; if only he cleaned his own mess up I thought to myself. A couple of hours had passed when I received a phone call from the traveller asking if I was back on site looking after his dogs, realising the time I left Alec and Dawn and took a taxi back to the site.

The two dogs were pleased to see me, after fetching my bag from Alec’s trailer I took the two of them for a walk along a lane adjacent to the site, the big dog pulled hard on the lead, in humour he (pictured above) reminded me of the statue of Turra Coo!

Being on this traveller’s site is similar to the traveller’s sites I lived on in the 90s only here the land is owned by gypsies but has travellers living here as tenants. I met the landowner yesterday, he did not reveal who he was but he could see the spirit and was friendly. Alec said he was a second cousin of the world champion fighter Tyson Fury. I have met many gipsies on my travels and all of the gipsies I have frequented have been nice people. I kept company the evening with a neighbour named Stuart, before returning to the trailer just after 11 pm to see the dogs. I drank much water to clean out my liver and thus did not drink in the evening. We talked about my things, including occurrences in our lives that related to our religious beliefs and the predicament of ignorance I have with my brother. Stuart is generous in hospitality and I enjoy his company. I feel kindled to have made unpretentious, new friends.

11th

Woke up next to Alec, he put the TV on and twisted open a full bottle of cider. We talked for a while before he left to get a lift into town. It looks as there is a lot of tidying to do around here. People are usually messy when something, somebody has left their head in a mess, ho hum.

Programming on freeview TV is back to back with adverts containing scenes of Habsburg / Dominican miscegenation ideals; truly disturbing in context of what I have seen recently. A seventies programme named “the prisoner” was being aired, an irony I thought to myself. Half hour later there was a knock on the window by some travellers shifting things from the driveway.

Alec’s scrappy doo dog keeps looking out the window after him, the dog has some sort of detachment problem. I suspect from the previous owner locking him inside a cage and used as a stud puppy. Alex talked about a 6ft black male gay friend living nearby, maybe this is the cult contact. He went into town and returner with food and cider, we spent the day playing chess with his neighbour; I won two games and lost one. Later we went back to Alec’s trailer and fell asleep watching a film.

10th

Helped a man look for keys his wife lost the day before, they’d stayed in the neighbouring hotel haven’t not been able to access there car to leave the service station. After ten minutes I got a lift out of Charnock Richard from a man in a range rover. I used the opportunity of switching on the electric heated seat to warm my cold bones before parting company at the Keele M6 service station. An ex-serviceman stopped, bought me lunch at Stafford services and via his trip to London dropped me off on a hectic M40 / A34 roundabout. I waited here sometime before being picked up by a guy on his way to Bournemouth.

He dropped me at Oxford A34/A44 services, where I purchase a yummy sandwich. I a feeling a little bit better this afternoon from my stressful hitchhike yesterday. The footpath along the roundabout on the A34 underpass was a public health risk.

I also walked past a bucket filled to the brim with stagnant water. Fifty yard up the road I pulled over a lift from a Scottish lady in a range rover. She took me to Woodstock, there was a horse fare being held in the grounds of Blenheim place. The next lift came from a chauffer, has driving an eighty thousand pound range rover, I was left wondering why fate had upscale the car. He took me half way to Chipping Norton where I was picked up by a woman driving a horse box. I hitched a ride from a builder heading towards Burford. He dropped me off at the Beeches traveller site where I was received by my friend Alec.

I spent the evening with Alec’s two friends, both cooked me food and their hospitality seemed sincere. We played chess, I won the first game but lost the second, another game wasn’t played. We left his trailer at midnight and ended the night cashed out on a cluttered couch.

9th

I woke at 5 am and updated my blog ten minutes later. Many spiders seem to have found their way into my tent this morning.

A walk down a country lane to Keele services is typical of Staffordshire countryside.

Returned to Keele services and commenced hitchhiking trip after 7am.

After a lift from a guy going to Liverpool I was dropped at Knutsford.

A lift to Lancaster M6 services from a young guy going to Keswick.

This guy (pictured below) took me to Hamilton M74 services.

Got a lift to Perth from two guys who had been working in Carlisle.

I had a chat with one of them about B12 and realised I been passing out because am due for another shot of B12, so I decided back off to England after the police moved me on from Broxden roundabout. I walked to a layby and received another lift to Bothwell M74 services then picked up another lift to Johnstone M74 services from a man going to Dumfries. Two young people then picked me up and took me to Southwaite M6 services. Next lift was from a trade plater and took me to Charnock Richard M6 services.

Feeling unnerved about tonight, for what reason I do not know so I guess its just anxiety because I am hitching in the dark; or maybe its because more and more people are telling me to stop. Kicking off at Charnock Richard M6 services tonight, Ned’s following me about on and off slip road, lorry driver called police. Exhausted so pitched tent, I’ll put walking pole up their ass if they try come near me.